Why I hate being BLACK!!

Ok so when I said that it had been emotional times for me..... I was very serious! Since returning back to uni to start the new academic year, I have encountered many people and situations that have made me to consider reaching for that bleaching cream. It was like an ......epiphany. I saw the reason as to why black people were sold as slaves in the first place!

"Black people are like crabs in a bucket!"

Think carefully about the line above, and try to remember the last time your fellow black sister or brother offered to help you out...... FOR FREE!

Or let us try to think when was the last time we helped a brother or sister and they did not try fuck you over the moment you were done!

I look around at my race and some of the people that share my colour of skin and all I can say is that I am ashamed to be called black among with them.

I probably sound really bitter but I have truly lost faith in almost any black constitution known. My own country Nigeria is infested with money greedy bastards with shit-filled bellies whilst this most resourceful country is on the brink of civil war. The black community from where I come from is just a borough of teenage mothers, whores, hoodlums and convicts. Oh yeah and I am sure there are some dead bodies buried around the somewhere.

And last but not least my only black haven of a society and only source of culture in my university otherwise known as the "ACS"...... well let me not go there... let us save that.................. for a later blog! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Ahem!

Laws and regulations have been placed for particular reasons and for the good of everyone.... yet black people still do not realise that it applies to them as well. It is like they are still all chained to the slave boat and trying to scramble over each other running to freedom or a bloody chicken drumstick!

Well NEWS FLASH NIGGAS!!! You are OFF the boat!! You have been off for quite a while now so is it not right that we should carry some pride and learn to respect one another? If you succeed in something, why not give your brother a hand? Or if your see your sister doing well, why stick out your foot to trip her up?

Let me tell you about a black friend (who I considered a brother) that I helped out.

Ok this dude.... lets call him Tunde Iamafool. He came to me and said, "Listen, I need somewhere to stay for the summer holidays. But I am going to be broke so can I crash at your's? I will help out with bills."

The minute he said that I immediately thought "Hmmm!" Because, This dude is an International student...meaning this fucker has some rich parents who can afford to pay £15,000 per year plus £3000 or so for his accommodation and feeding! SOOOOO, how are your parents suddenly just going to forget you like that?! But hey, because my name is Madam Gullible, I said nothing and simply asked him for small £90 a month to help out with the bills and that. For three months he lived with me and for three months this slimy, skinny, cockroach infested beast was eating off me. I didn't mind as I thought he was broke, but it hurt to constantly come home to and empty pot. Bearing in mind that I am mad broke as well and barely have enough money to buy groceries. THEN....... it started! This radioactive sewerage rat had THREE jobs!!!!! First..... he would buy groceries...... then hide them. Under the sink, under his bed......or he would complain he was broke, eat out ALL the food in the house...... then come home with shopping from Aldo, Topman or Zara. Or he would attempt to have parties in MY house without my permission..... and then invite me on facebook. LOOOOL!!!!!! Imagine....I found out there was a party going on in my house...... from facebook!! The way I was going to call police for his ass!! At this point, I am just looking.... and I am smiling! Just try bear it out till he leaves.

Half way into his third month, he comes home and starts packing. As happy as I was to finally see this starved looking goat-boy go, I asked him out of curiousity, "Mate, where are you going?"

AHH!!! Come and see "Martin Luther Speech!!!!"

He replied "I am moving in with my friend Panseen and Fiona, where I can stay for free!"

OK, I accepted that.... but then the bastard went on to say, "You are not a good friend for asking me to pay to stay here. That  is why I am leaving. If I go and live with Pansy, I can simply just "FREE LOAD" of them for free. If I want to go anywhere, she will always pay for my taxi that is why I love hanging with those girls. As for the rest of the money I owe you for staying here, I am not going to pay it! 

Well GOOD LUCK to Panseen and Fiona!! HAHA!! 

At this point me and my house-mates are to stumped to say a word, but for me... that was the beginning.

I look at this certain individual with the up-most disgust and sadness. Why?! Because he is the product and perfect icon of a messed up country, influence and upbringing. He is the exact kind of person that gives our once so great nation............the shitiness it is known for!!

To describe more how full of zebra shit he really is....... We were invited to a house gathering and this hell forsaken beast empties out the fridge of the host. Drinks, chicken, raw meat, food, ketchup... he packed it ALL into his "Topman man-bag!"

These are the kind of people that are going to be in charge of our tomorrow, of our children's tomorrow. These people will be forming the foundations of our grandchildren's world and I am saddened! If only we can know when such beast are being conceived, they would have liked to abort them right there or simply just not had sex that night! He is simply that single sperm that should have been bust into a Durex condom and later stamped on by a farm tractor and thrown away. Somehow Satan managed to smuggle that spawn into the world and the lives of many. *shakes head*

Conclusion on this angry tirade of hate (I have been truly annoyed)....Is that as black people, we are sooo beautiful! We have the potential to reclaim our place as most powerful nation if only we could work together and not try to fuck each other over. Next time you want to hurt a fellow nigga or stop their success.... allow it, even if they REALLY deserve it. (This goes for me as well, because I am very big on revenge!) We should try to love and look out for the other because the rest of the world is!

Love and Juicy Watermelon Seeds

The Night, Moon and Sun

I am meant to be in bed but instead I am at my laptop, writing my first poem in two years. I pray this this the first of many to come.

From a far I can hear the beats drums

they call, entice and wildly cajole me,

My spirits arise and begins to dance

and swirl and turn to its  crazed beat.

To fall under would be to succumb,

But to stand....I would have to be numb.

I stare steadly into the eyes of the Night,

He taunts at me, leers, jeers,

He encircles my body with his spiny arms

and for that moment............ I simply dont breathe.

Because to smell him would be to succumb,

But to resist....I must learn to be numb.

I look far, expectant, hoping for the Sun

But He hides face shamefully, dark and sad

I look back into the Night and bite my lip.

Dark thoughts are racing. Red as in blood.

To think and act them would be to succumb,

But I ignore and  I bly... so  I am definitely numb.

And there she stands. In her glory white,

Outshine the dark Sun, defeating the Night,

Her long arms engulf the air, a breeze is felt.

Her voice, the sea's song is suddenly heard

And raptly and precise the Night succumbs,

My heart feels peace and joy....soon after.... just numb.




Watermelon seeds! xx

Please!! Come Correct!!

I admit.... I am not an expert in relationships. But not everyone knows what is good love and what is bad love. I think love is like a special kind of spice. It can add either a sweet or very bitter taste to your life. Most love relationships start of real sweet but end so bitterly you just want to spit, choke and cough!

One thing my mother always said to me as I grew up was that a happy relationship is one where the woman is in the driving seat. Then, my young feminist mind believed that meant, women standing on roof tops declaring supieority over our fellow male brothers and beating their chests. King kong stylee!

I look back and laugh at memories of myself trying to implement this nonsense!! SMH!

Imagine a 16 year old me with the whole gel-slicked back bun, nose piercing and hazel contacts hollering at sum tall lanky boy, "You are my bitch, BITCH! Recognise!!! Aaaaaiiittee?" (Cockney Accent)

LOL!! Boi, life has taught me exactly what the mother was trying to teach me the hard way!

IN MY OPINION (the grown up and more mature one)

"In any man-woman interaction, the woman is in control!" SIMPLES!! (Nigerian accent)

Ok so you are going to ask me how, some guy may get emotional and grab his crotch, so I will explain. 


A smart guy will always fear a woman when first meeting her.

First of all PLEASE note how I stated a "smart" guy. This is a very important part because YES, there are some ridiculously silly and suicidal guys out there who will talk anyhow to anyone. 


Pray, fast or bathe in the River Jordan hardcore so that the path of your life will never meet with the paths of these imbecilic twats. ( I hope that is actually a word)

Ok! Back to smart guys fearing the woman. What I mean is that he will first approach you in a way where he will try to see what kind of person you are right from the get-go. From my few life lessons, I believe it is these early days that determine the rest of your relationship with this man.]

If in the early days this guy realises that you are a big softy and easy to push or cajole around...... that my dear is your portion for life. As for me.. I Reject It In JESUS Name!!     Amen!

Ladies, the key to gaining respect from a guy is truly in our hands.They are like.... like ... sheep!! Play about with them too much and they will definately lose their ways and get brave, dumb, foolish even suicidal at times!!!

Show them the levels and ways from day and they will come correct. (Well most of them anyways!)

So imagine you are admiring the bees and the birds...... then some park-side beast just enters your line of view from nowhere and grunts, "Oi!" 

A woman of integrity will understand  that there is a demon manifesting in him and walk past praying for the salvation of his soul. 
Meanwhile an attention hungry pitiful female will begin to flutter her eyelashes and reply,  "Oh, you mean me??!" *slaps her head! "Silly omo buruku!*

Or you can have situation where a man has become so complacent in his relationship with his girlfriend or wife that he begins to disregard her and all that she holds important and dear to her. 
Despite both these dudes being the big idiots that they are, the fault lies with the women especially the latter. If she had stopped him the first time he did it and corrected him, he would be less likely to repeat such felonies and foolishness!

"Silence isn’t always golden. Don't use silence as a means of avoiding controversy,or a weapon to control, frustrate, punish or manipulate."

If you sit back and have it now and never put your heels down you will continue taking rubbish for the rest of your relationship, however long that lasts or until sense finally becomes common to your life.
I understand you may love them or whatever, but if keeping them in your life or keeping the peace in your relationship requires you to lay down like a horse stable mat (door mat is too polite)......... then that my dear is definitely bad love.

The end note of this blog is that us as women need to remember to love ourselves dearly. We suffer enough with menstruation, childbirth and stretch marks, we deserve to be loved and worshipped by those that take up our time. Simply decide to respect yourself and others will follow suit. If not.... please show them the patch of wall they will be thrown through!

Love and Watermelon Seeds!