Control That Drink or else......U could get in deep shit!!

Right it has come to my attention recently that drinking..............is shit of an serious issue!! OK well I knew that already but with the recent hot sizzling gossip (understatement) on Twitter, has made me feel soooo passionate about the need to discuss this shit of an issue!!!

People, especially females NEED to allow drinking when out by themselves. This is just recipe of being taken advantage off! Yes people will take the piss and shit!

I mean we have all heard of getting raped whilst drunk, which is very messed up and critical to the mental state and emotions of an individual.
We know and probably have experienced vomiting after a mad drinking spree which is damaging to the intestine walls.

Some people end up having sex whilst drunk, and end up dumped, pregnant or simply diseased! Which is kind of erm life changing damaging!! CHLAMYDIA!!!
Some people just simply die!! Them drunk selves end up under a car, train or even a lorry. Some even get stabbed or stab up themselves..... in the eye! Saddest times. Moment of silence please.. (pause)..........





So yeah! We have all these lovely options of what to do whilst drunk. Bloody amazing right but these lovely activities........ are not enough for some drunk heads!
The National Board of Drunkenness have decided to introduce the "Shit yourself" action!! Who wants to sign up???
Yes! The new drunken behaviour is to SHATTERS yourself!
Oh sorry did you not get that? I will repeat myself!! Defecating your underwear whilst under the influence is just poor! No! it is abysmal! We are totally lose of words here!! It is simply just very Shitty!!

So basically the story goes like this:
On the early hours of the 24th September 2010 in London, shortly after a rave, a few Good Samaritan guys come across a heavily intoxicated female at a rave. Worried about her safety, as she looked totally out of it, the boys decide to give her a lift home. So in the car they go to start the long journey home. Well as most of you all know........a drunk person in a moving vehicle..... is likely to get very messy and of course smelly!
Yup, our intoxicated passenger kindly redesigns the car interior with the contents of stomach.

"Sniff". Chicken Marsala for lunch was it darling? Eurgh!!

This interior remodelling of somebodies beloved car occurs several times, I am surprised the car continued to function with all the stomach juice being gushed out at the dashboards. I am kind of surprised she was even kept in the car!! I would nicely opened the car door and deposited her Intoxicated self.....somewhere! OK maybe not....... but the CAR!! Oh shit!

Onwards with this shit of a tale.........
So we now have a miserably stenched and nasty car, regretful driver and passenger and of course the intoxicated one. Decisions are made to stop of at a friend's hotel in order for the Intoxicated_One to clean herself up. Such thoughtfulness.
They get to the hotel and into the shower the Intoxicated_One goes. Right, so my guys are waiting for her now and she is taking her pretty little time. She is quickly checked on and this people..... is what was found.

Kmt! SHIT!!!! My bad!  let me rewiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnndddd!!!

OK so this is what the Intoxicated_One looked like prior to this incident.

So yes.......  as you can see the evidence shows this na fyn fyn omoge (sexy girl). A few guys would see this female and begin to think of unholy thoughts. (in a Nigerian accent "Your eye should be consecrated by Holy Ghost Water with immediate alacrity and automatic action!")

Here is Exhibit A again and it is annotated! Much to my amusement and disgust, the Intoxicated_One soiled herself. From the evidence provided, she missed the toilet bowl by ahem quite a few miles. She just let it drop like a missile in the middle of the bathroom and proceeded to continue in the shower!! To make matters worse......

Exhibit B

She uses the shower curtains..................as ANDREX tissue!! No Love!!! I fink NOT!

On this sad discovery, Blackberries and IPhones and Nokia 3200's were whipped out to capture the moment.

My reaction.............. its a very loooonnnnnnnnnggg laugh, it may take up the whole of this blogs' space so I will leave it out.........

OK a shorter version!!! HERE IT COMES!!!

LLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!

LOL! But then you think about the seriousness of this situation!! This young female's Samaritans, turned out to be her undoing! No I take that back! Her Intoxicated methods where her undoing, they were just there to capture the moment. SMILE!!!

Yes it is kind of cruel that picture were taken and posted ALL OVER twitter! I am shell shocked it didn't reach CNN. Seriously! 

This is a realllllllly "shitty" situation in more ways than one!

After all the laughter and rolling on the floor is done....ten years later, we have to identify this as an ongoing issue that is getting out of hand!

Irresponsible Usage Of Alcohol!   (Indian accent), "Oh Shit, this alcohol can't be very good!

My questions are:

Who the shit did she come out with? 

If none, why the shit was she alone?

Does she not know her drink levels? Shit head!

Can you not tell when your ass starts to feel shit numb something ain't right?

How shit stupid is she to drink herself to that state with no one trustworthy to look after her?

What kind of shit friend is it she is rolling with to leave her like that?

What shit could be occurring in her life for her to feel the need to get that intoxicated?

What the shit was she thinking as she let that missile drop?

What the bloooooodddcllarrttt shit did she drink because I want some of that!! (in the comfort and protection of my home of course..... where there is a toilet close at hand! LOL..............in case shit goes down!!!!!)

Shit!!! My questions are endless!!

I do however question the guys for taking these very sad pictures of her. As irresistible as it was, it was not nice, kind or necessary. They need to remember that since this is possible, it could have happened to them or their sisters, daughters, girlfriends or any loved ones for that matter.

I know the Intoxicated_One was on twitter but within an hour of this story hitting the winds she had gained 99 new followers. PEAK TIMES! Since then her only statement was that she had been taken advantage off. Soon after she deleted her Twitter account, of which I can't blame her for. I am curious as to what those close to her are saying? What about the so-called friends that were meant to watch her? (Choosing friends wisely- a later blog soon to come). What is she saying? These times I am sure she has considered suicide, the permanent solution to a temporary situation. Not worth it hun!

I can only hope she stays strong in these shit embarrassing time and be able to laugh it off one day. (may not be for a shit long time though!) 

Also I hope she has learned her lessons: Drop them shit friends and find some real folks

                                                             Control that drink or else have another shitty experience! LOL!

In conclusion, all that can be said on this matter is....

Peace, Love and Watermelon Seeds

x

Blog? Blog? Blog I say!

For Sheerah (the only honest friend I know)

Finally!!! Oh Lord!! I have finally sat down and actually done what I have planning to do for the longest time now! I have blogged my first entry. I suppose I have been madly procrastinating and very unsure of whether I wanted to be so free and honest on the web!
I mean imagine my Big Aunt Bukola in the indigenous parts of Nigeria  getting hold of a phone to call my mother  in London and demand why I am talking about sex or whatever online?

(Aunt Bukola in a Nigerian accent barely heard over the long distance static noises) " Kai!!!! Sister!!! Your pikin don spooooooiiilll finish! I beg, I beg, send am come before she go go carry bele or one kind gono-cro-cro!"


Translation: My sister!! Your child has gone bad, loco, nuts, crazy! Please kindly deport her back to Nigeria where she can work in the local farm before she gets herself pregnant or catches a disease!

Now I dare say that these conversations have already occurred between the mother and Big Aunt Bukola. Quite a while ago now during my delinquent years of secondary school, So you can imagine that whenever the mother mentioned going to Nigeria on holiday......she got this reply>> " Mummy, secondary school is a very critical part of my education! Any slight cock ups and I could end up redo-ing the 5 years!"
The mother is truly ruthless enough to take me there... take my passport and abandon me in some 1 star hotel in the middle of Lagos with no more than 5000 naira (£21). NOT EVEN!!

Now I personally don't see how forcing me to work in a local farm will protect me from getting pregnant or infected. I am kind of sure there is a higher risk out in the middle of a farm village  where condoms are used as celebration balloons.

Another reason of me shying away from the world of blogging is that I am a typical Aquarian.
Therefore I sadly have to admit that a lot of my talk can pass to be expensive breeze! Lots of plans but minimal action which is bad, I must admit!
So I really and truly could begin this but not really keep up with it! I am extremist at nature! Either I am into it like a guy in a..... OK that is just nasty! OK! So i can really do this or just really not, and my excuse will be I forgot my password! Ha ha! yeah right! More like rekindled my addicted love to Sims 3. Did I say how addictive that stuff is? A future blog maybe I say! Hey! Hey!

Back to why I shouldn't blog!

You have to have a LOT of time!!!!!
Mate!! In order to blog you need to have time, patience and an "I don't care" attitude.
In recent times, I have realised I waste so much time doing the wrong things with the wrong people.
Now that I have decided to drop certain bad habits and unnecessary people, I find myself in my room a bit more or nose in a book or naughtily..... a bag of Mcdonald's chips.
So yeah, I suppose I have a lot of time on my hands. But whereas I am doing something I am sure I will enjoy, you can either use yours to either appreciate or berate my use of my time.

Your choice folks. I am promising to be dedicated, real, fresh and honest with my thoughts and ideas. There is beauty in truly embracing your creative side.

Peace, Love and Watermelon seeds