Right it has come to my attention recently that drinking..............is shit of an serious issue!! OK well I knew that already but with the recent hot sizzling gossip (understatement) on Twitter, has made me feel soooo passionate about the need to discuss this shit of an issue!!!
People, especially females NEED to allow drinking when out by themselves. This is just recipe of being taken advantage off! Yes people will take the piss and shit!
I mean we have all heard of getting raped whilst drunk, which is very messed up and critical to the mental state and emotions of an individual.
We know and probably have experienced vomiting after a mad drinking spree which is damaging to the intestine walls.
Some people end up having sex whilst drunk, and end up dumped, pregnant or simply diseased! Which is kind of erm life changing damaging!! CHLAMYDIA!!!
Some people just simply die!! Them drunk selves end up under a car, train or even a lorry. Some even get stabbed or stab up themselves..... in the eye! Saddest times. Moment of silence please.. (pause)..........
So yeah! We have all these lovely options of what to do whilst drunk. Bloody amazing right but these lovely activities........ are not enough for some drunk heads!
The National Board of Drunkenness have decided to introduce the "Shit yourself" action!! Who wants to sign up???
Yes! The new drunken behaviour is to SHATTERS yourself!
Oh sorry did you not get that? I will repeat myself!! Defecating your underwear whilst under the influence is just poor! No! it is abysmal! We are totally lose of words here!! It is simply just very Shitty!!
So basically the story goes like this:
On the early hours of the 24th September 2010 in London, shortly after a rave, a few Good Samaritan guys come across a heavily intoxicated female at a rave. Worried about her safety, as she looked totally out of it, the boys decide to give her a lift home. So in the car they go to start the long journey home. Well as most of you all know........a drunk person in a moving vehicle..... is likely to get very messy and of course smelly!
Yup, our intoxicated passenger kindly redesigns the car interior with the contents of stomach.
"Sniff". Chicken Marsala for lunch was it darling? Eurgh!!
This interior remodelling of somebodies beloved car occurs several times, I am surprised the car continued to function with all the stomach juice being gushed out at the dashboards. I am kind of surprised she was even kept in the car!! I would nicely opened the car door and deposited her Intoxicated self.....somewhere! OK maybe not....... but the CAR!! Oh shit!
Onwards with this shit of a tale.........
So we now have a miserably stenched and nasty car, regretful driver and passenger and of course the intoxicated one. Decisions are made to stop of at a friend's hotel in order for the Intoxicated_One to clean herself up. Such thoughtfulness.
They get to the hotel and into the shower the Intoxicated_One goes. Right, so my guys are waiting for her now and she is taking her pretty little time. She is quickly checked on and this people..... is what was found.
OK so this is what the Intoxicated_One looked like prior to this incident.
So yes....... as you can see the evidence shows this na fyn fyn omoge (sexy girl). A few guys would see this female and begin to think of unholy thoughts. (in a Nigerian accent "Your eye should be consecrated by Holy Ghost Water with immediate alacrity and automatic action!")
Here is Exhibit A again and it is annotated! Much to my amusement and disgust, the Intoxicated_One soiled herself. From the evidence provided, she missed the toilet bowl by ahem quite a few miles. She just let it drop like a missile in the middle of the bathroom and proceeded to continue in the shower!! To make matters worse......
Exhibit B
She uses the shower curtains..................as ANDREX tissue!! No Love!!! I fink NOT!
On this sad discovery, Blackberries and IPhones and Nokia 3200's were whipped out to capture the moment.
My reaction.............. its a very loooonnnnnnnnnggg laugh, it may take up the whole of this blogs' space so I will leave it out.........
OK a shorter version!!! HERE IT COMES!!!
LLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!
LOL! But then you think about the seriousness of this situation!! This young female's Samaritans, turned out to be her undoing! No I take that back! Her Intoxicated methods where her undoing, they were just there to capture the moment. SMILE!!!
Yes it is kind of cruel that picture were taken and posted ALL OVER twitter! I am shell shocked it didn't reach CNN. Seriously!
This is a realllllllly "shitty" situation in more ways than one!
After all the laughter and rolling on the floor is done....ten years later, we have to identify this as an ongoing issue that is getting out of hand!
Irresponsible Usage Of Alcohol! (Indian accent), "Oh Shit, this alcohol can't be very good!
My questions are:
Who the shit did she come out with?
If none, why the shit was she alone?
Does she not know her drink levels? Shit head!
Can you not tell when your ass starts to feel shit numb something ain't right?
How shit stupid is she to drink herself to that state with no one trustworthy to look after her?
What kind of shit friend is it she is rolling with to leave her like that?
What shit could be occurring in her life for her to feel the need to get that intoxicated?
What the shit was she thinking as she let that missile drop?
What the bloooooodddcllarrttt shit did she drink because I want some of that!! (in the comfort and protection of my home of course..... where there is a toilet close at hand! LOL..............in case shit goes down!!!!!)
Shit!!! My questions are endless!!
I do however question the guys for taking these very sad pictures of her. As irresistible as it was, it was not nice, kind or necessary. They need to remember that since this is possible, it could have happened to them or their sisters, daughters, girlfriends or any loved ones for that matter.
I know the Intoxicated_One was on twitter but within an hour of this story hitting the winds she had gained 99 new followers. PEAK TIMES! Since then her only statement was that she had been taken advantage off. Soon after she deleted her Twitter account, of which I can't blame her for. I am curious as to what those close to her are saying? What about the so-called friends that were meant to watch her? (Choosing friends wisely- a later blog soon to come). What is she saying? These times I am sure she has considered suicide, the permanent solution to a temporary situation. Not worth it hun!
I can only hope she stays strong in these shit embarrassing time and be able to laugh it off one day. (may not be for a shit long time though!)
Also I hope she has learned her lessons: Drop them shit friends and find some real folks
Control that drink or else have another shitty experience! LOL!
In conclusion, all that can be said on this matter is....
Peace, Love and Watermelon Seeds
x
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