My blog this week is dedicated to the Nollywood movie, Ladies men. (see bottom)
Like most Nigerian movies, the story is divided into Four parts; Ladies Men, Ladies Men 2, Ladies Gang and Ladies Gang 2.
I am hardcore sucker for a watermelon juicy storyline, so I stayed up until 6am watching this film and I can honestly say it was worth every yawn and rub of the tired red eyes.
The film was basically a story that followed the love lives of six couples. The real aim was to identify the types of men that we women are sometimes sooo unlucky and sadly cursed enough to meet. If you are like me then you will have met all in one lifetime. I must have really pissed someone off in a past life meehhhnn. Due to my experience and "ahem" expertise in this matter, I thought I would write a “How to deal with him” thingy. Can't think of the proper word right now.
So you had:
The Dictator
The Playboy
The Sex Addict
The Mama’s boy
The Workaholic
The Weak man
The first man I would like to discuss is The Workaholic. Why? Because he is simply the easiest to deal with!
How you may ask? BECAUSE THEY ARE USUALLY A LOST CASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How you may ask? BECAUSE THEY ARE USUALLY A LOST CASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the movie, he was named Charles and !#Cheiiiiiiiiiiiiii$! The guy they chose was FUgly meehnn!!! He was lucky enough to be paired up with a very pretty girlfriend, Maggie, who would continuosly beg for him to pay her some attention. My guy would literally walk into the room ready to hug, then his phone rings and suddenly he forgets she is even alive.
Let me make you aware now, that I truly believe that in every relationship a real strong woman is the one in charge and it takes a real man to understand and respect this. In turn, he receives the woman’s respect and submission.
So in the instance I blame Maggie for this maga’s demeanour. Us women need to adopt the term “Time is money.”
Why?
Why?
When Charles first met Maggie, I am sure he was the one chasing after her number and begging for her to give him a chance. And like any woman, you would be attracted to a guy who seems made and hardworking. You see that he could be an inspiration to you and a muse to your own aspirations. Little did she know that she was just another furniture to be acquired, ignored and disappointed. The only consolation was that he regularly dashed out very generous cheques into her lil hands, which is all good, but only for so long.
Now let us put me Ghene into Maggie’s shoes! LOOOOOL!
I can tell you, you have three options.
Option 1
Sabotage+ Nag + destroy = Possible dismissal or even death.
Yes!!! This is an option! You could start off with a complain, a plee and if unheeded, it is time to change it up into a daily annoying and desperate nag!! (Personally, I haven't got the time).
If he is still being stubborn then it is time to get really down n dirty with “accidentally" pouring coffee on his laptop or drop his mobile in the sink or if you’re extra annoyed, an unflushed toilet. He will have to be real crazy to still pick that nastiness up. Hahhhha!!
Ok so after this point, you might really start to try his patience, depending on how deep his workaholic sickness has entered his anatomy. A less tolerant guy could “Chris Brown” you at this point so I suggest leaving the vincinity real quick.
If he is still being stubborn then it is time to get really down n dirty with “accidentally" pouring coffee on his laptop or drop his mobile in the sink or if you’re extra annoyed, an unflushed toilet. He will have to be real crazy to still pick that nastiness up. Hahhhha!!
Ok so after this point, you might really start to try his patience, depending on how deep his workaholic sickness has entered his anatomy. A less tolerant guy could “Chris Brown” you at this point so I suggest leaving the vincinity real quick.
If this still doesn’t work, it’s time to bring out the big guns!! I mean turn NUTZZZ, KOLO, CRAZY, MENTAL!!
How?
Simply sit him down and advise him to either invest in indestructible electronics or bear the brunt of your wrath if he ever works whilst your around again. Say it with a poker straight face. I personally would throw in a "psycho twitch" just so he really believes you're totally unstable and thinks hardcore before crossing you in anyway. If he is smart, he will hide his laptop and phone even when you call!
Only a really head strong goat of a man will remain stubborn after this point. He obviously has very little regard for you or the time you are willing to share with him.
No worries! Okay, before you implement this next bit, please oooo! Have life insurance with Ghenz Odu as the benefactor!!! Very very important!
Done?!
Okay, now we may commence! Simply snatch this treasured piece of electronic and smash it on the floor. Whilst doing this, maintain eye contact with him to drive home the anger of your action and to also be ready to dodge should he swing at your head. The end result of this will most definately get you battered, "Chris Brown'd", killed or simply dumped. Please pray for the latter.
I would suggest this option, unless, you're really crazy and suicidal
Option 2
Take advantage
Okay, us women can be very senstive creatures. Whilst we enjoy being spoilt, all day shopping and getting pedicures, we still crave love and attention. The lack of any of these elements can drive a weaker woman away or even worse, astray.
This option will definately appeal to a more materialistic woman.
You can stay with him, continue to get ignored but certainly collect his money and try to shop so much to fill the hole that he has left uncared for.
Eventually, if you are that brave and bored, you can look elsewhere to fill this hole.
Yes, as in, have an affair. Aim for one of his close friend or relative though, just to hit him where it hurts.
If you reaaaaaaaaallllly are that crazy, I dare you to get knocked up by your secret lover. Then!!!!! GEN-GEN!!! Have your workaholic husband find out!!! MUUAHAHA!(evil laugh)!
His head will spin at the stories that have been occurring whilst his head was stuck in a laptop!
Outcomes will be certified attempted murder on your life and worse, so I suggest only the hardest women should use this option.
Option 3
Talk then walk.
This is by far my favourite choice. Whilst it is more civilised, life preserving and jsut plain normal, it also allows you as a woman to keep your self respect and control of the situation. I firmly believe that if a guy has taken time to approach you in hopes of getting to know you, then he must show effort and time that he is investing into getting to you. He must endeavour to fit into YOUR schedule, if he is to actually get in there. At no point in time should you begin to start running after him to pay you attention. Why?!
Because your are damn well worth it and more. If the mumu is too retarded, blind, foolish, and idiotic to see it, then respect yourself, your mother and hers and simply move on!
If you don't agree, slap yourself.... hard.
If the dude is not ready to treat you as a Princess then, homie, he has no reason to be your prince. Simples!!!
Love and Watermelon Seeds
Lady's men pt 1
Lady's men pt 2
Lady's Gang pt 1
Lady's Gang pt 2
How?
Simply sit him down and advise him to either invest in indestructible electronics or bear the brunt of your wrath if he ever works whilst your around again. Say it with a poker straight face. I personally would throw in a "psycho twitch" just so he really believes you're totally unstable and thinks hardcore before crossing you in anyway. If he is smart, he will hide his laptop and phone even when you call!
Only a really head strong goat of a man will remain stubborn after this point. He obviously has very little regard for you or the time you are willing to share with him.
No worries! Okay, before you implement this next bit, please oooo! Have life insurance with Ghenz Odu as the benefactor!!! Very very important!
Done?!
Okay, now we may commence! Simply snatch this treasured piece of electronic and smash it on the floor. Whilst doing this, maintain eye contact with him to drive home the anger of your action and to also be ready to dodge should he swing at your head. The end result of this will most definately get you battered, "Chris Brown'd", killed or simply dumped. Please pray for the latter.
I would suggest this option, unless, you're really crazy and suicidal
Option 2
Take advantage
Okay, us women can be very senstive creatures. Whilst we enjoy being spoilt, all day shopping and getting pedicures, we still crave love and attention. The lack of any of these elements can drive a weaker woman away or even worse, astray.
This option will definately appeal to a more materialistic woman.
You can stay with him, continue to get ignored but certainly collect his money and try to shop so much to fill the hole that he has left uncared for.
Eventually, if you are that brave and bored, you can look elsewhere to fill this hole.
Yes, as in, have an affair. Aim for one of his close friend or relative though, just to hit him where it hurts.
If you reaaaaaaaaallllly are that crazy, I dare you to get knocked up by your secret lover. Then!!!!! GEN-GEN!!! Have your workaholic husband find out!!! MUUAHAHA!(evil laugh)!
His head will spin at the stories that have been occurring whilst his head was stuck in a laptop!
Outcomes will be certified attempted murder on your life and worse, so I suggest only the hardest women should use this option.
Option 3
Talk then walk.
This is by far my favourite choice. Whilst it is more civilised, life preserving and jsut plain normal, it also allows you as a woman to keep your self respect and control of the situation. I firmly believe that if a guy has taken time to approach you in hopes of getting to know you, then he must show effort and time that he is investing into getting to you. He must endeavour to fit into YOUR schedule, if he is to actually get in there. At no point in time should you begin to start running after him to pay you attention. Why?!
Because your are damn well worth it and more. If the mumu is too retarded, blind, foolish, and idiotic to see it, then respect yourself, your mother and hers and simply move on!
If you don't agree, slap yourself.... hard.
If the dude is not ready to treat you as a Princess then, homie, he has no reason to be your prince. Simples!!!
Love and Watermelon Seeds
Omg!! This is too funny! I wonder who would be crazy enough to do option 1 or 2! I'm going to watch these films tonight!!
ReplyDeleteI went out with an option two girl. Some crazy broads out there!
ReplyDelete